blossom.

'and the day came when the
risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than
the risk it took to blossom.'

- anaïs nin

allons-y.

in 6 hours or so, i have a train to catch. a train that will whisk me away to another country where i am to escape...this.

whatever 'this' is. 

the circles the thoughts the exhaustion the nightmare...'this.'

any other person would be catching zzz's now. me? i am still in search of oblivion. 

the weather report shows no sign of any raindrops interfering with my holiday. but there are raindrops in my head. clouds elsewhere. tornadoes in another corner waiting to unleash its fury.

i've lost my umbrella. but even before that, it was broken. 

...

let's just get out of here.

bruises.

I tried to do handstands for you

I tried to do headstands for you

Every time I fell on you yeah every time I fell

I tried to do handstands for you

But every time I fell for you

I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for

You

I tried to do handstands for you

I tried to do headstands for you

Every time I fell on you yeah every time I fell

I tried to do handstands but every time I fell for you

I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for

You ooo...

For you ooo...

So black and blue ooo...

For you ooo...

I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruisy knees

But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like

All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruisy knees,

Hot July ain't good to me

I'm pink and black and blue

I got bruises on my knees for you

And grass stains on my knees for you

Got holes in my new jeans for you

Got pink and black and blue

Got bruises on my knees for you

And grass stains on my knees for you

Got holes in my new jeans for you

Got pink and black and blue for you

[chairlift]

brat.

i need to learn to see the beauty in not getting what i want.

it's a hard lesson.

with no-one else to blame.

guilt is a very mean friend.

so is regret.

as is disappointment. 

you can only try to befriend them. strike a deal with them.

but in the end, they always win.

and it's time - time to get to know them, to understand them

and the beauty in knowing that their friendship is worthwhile in the long run,
and that you will meet a new best friend called 'timing'

that will get you through. 

from now on...

i'm gonna listen to nina.